We advance in years somewhat in the manner of an invading army in a barren land; the age that we have reached, as the saying goes, we but hold with an outpost, and still keep open communications with the extreme rear and first beginnings of the march. ~Robert Louis Stevenson, "Virginibus Puerisque II," Virginibus Puerisque, 1881
The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left. ~Jerry M. Wright
Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond with you at bat. Then fold second base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher's mound. Put first base and third together, bring up home plate and pin the three together. Of course, in case of rain, you gotta call the game and start all over again. ~Jimmy Piersal, on how to diaper a baby, 1968
He didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it. ~Clarence Budington Kelland
Youth is a disease from which we all recover. ~Dorothy Fulheim
Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional. ~Chili Davis
Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life. ~Herbert Asquith
Youth is a disease from which we all recover. ~Dorothy Fulheim
Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope. ~Bill Cosby
Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. ~Red Buttons
My father used to play with my brother and me in the yard. Mother would come out and say, "You're tearing up the grass." "We're not raising grass," Dad would reply. "We're raising boys." ~Harmon Killebrew
I still have a full deck; I just shuffle slower now. ~Author Unknown
Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional. ~Chili Davis
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