Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope. ~Bill Cosby
Henry James once defined life as that predicament which precedes death, and certainly nobody owes you a debt of honor or gratitude for getting him into that predicament. But a child does owe his father a debt, if Dad, having gotten him into this peck of trouble, takes off his coat and buckles down to the job of showing his son how best to crash through it. ~Clarence Budington Kelland
Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. ~Red Buttons
There is still no cure for the common birthday. ~John Glenn
I'm sixty years of age. That's 16 Celsius. ~George Carlin, Brain Droppings, 1997
Sherman made the terrible discovery that men make about their fathers sooner or later... that the man before him was not an aging father but a boy, a boy much like himself, a boy who grew up and had a child of his own and, as best he could, out of a sense of duty and, perhaps love, adopted a role called Being a Father so that his child would have something mythical and infinitely important: a Protector, who would keep a lid on all the chaotic and catastrophic possibilities of life. ~Tom Wolfe, The Bonfire of the Vanities
Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. ~Red Buttons
Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life. ~Herbert Asquith


They say that age is all in your mind. The trick is keeping it from creeping down into your body. ~Author Unknown


There is still no cure for the common birthday. ~John Glenn
I still have a full deck; I just shuffle slower now. ~Author Unknown
Old as she was, she still missed her daddy sometimes. ~Gloria Naylor


My father used to play with my brother and me in the yard. Mother would come out and say, "You're tearing up the grass." "We're not raising grass," Dad would reply. "We're raising boys." ~Harmon Killebrew
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